I’ve read for thousands of people over the years and one of the biggest pitfalls I have ever seen is this notion of soul mates. It’s one of the most disempowering ideas I’ve ever come across.

The idea that there is one, and only one, person out there in the world who could be your life long partner is killing relationships all over the world.

This is how love works: You attract the person who is a vibrational match for what you desire at the time. No more, no less.

While you are a still a vibrational match for each other, the relationship is good. When your vibration changes or your partner’s vibration changes, you will no longer feel good about the relationship.

But that’s the point where people make their mistake – believing they must stay in a relationship created at a time when the vibrations were aligned but now are not.

When your vibration changes, you must honor it.

It’s a sign that you are ready for someone new. You will feel the disconnect, you will feel the contrast, with your current partner. And what do a lot of people do when they feel that disconnect? They try to repair it. They try to get their partner back into vibrational harmony with them.

And sometimes that is possible, so sure, give it a try. But most of the time people just grow apart. It’s natural.

I’m not talking about small disagreements like where to go out to eat. I’m talking about major lifestyle changes. One partner wants kids and the other one doesn’t. One partner wants to sell their belongings and travel the world and the other partner wants to nest and build roots. One partner wants to save for retirement and the other wants to spend every dime they make.

If you cling to the idea that your partner is your soul mate, your one and only, and you two fall out of vibrational harmony with each other, you will end up fighting the natural flow. It’s like trying to go up the down escalator. Sure, you could do it for a while, but it’s tiring, and won’t get you too far.

If you can release the notion that there is one person out there who can satisfy and fulfill your every desire, then you will begin to see that relationships are meant to be fluid. You come together when the vibrations are aligned, and you naturally drift apart when that changes.

“But Erin, doesn’t the other side arrange for us to meet certain people? And aren’t those people our soul mates?”

Your spirit guides do find people for you who are a vibrational match for what you’re wanting to attract. That is true. But that isn’t a soul mate. It’s simply a match for what you desire today.

Your guides know that down the line your free will may cause you to want to move in an entirely new direction, and that’s when you’ll start to feel uneasy about your relationship. It’s not because you did something wrong or that you are broken, it’s just a sign that it’s time to find a new partner.

There are many people out there who can find a person and stay in vibrational harmony with them for life. That’s fantastic. But the vast majority of people will need several different partners in order to go through life happy and fulfilled.

Don’t resist that. When the vibration changes and you are no longer a good match, release each other with love and find new partners. Staying with someone you are no longer a match for could ruin your life. It prevents you both from being happy.

So be brave and stay true to your heart. Release what no longer serves you so that you find something that does. It’s okay to let go of something that isn’t working for you. It’s the only way to make room for something that will.

Read: The Definitive Guide to Soul Mates and Attracting a Great Relationship